


The Pancake (a.k.a. Bob)

by vamplover82



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Challenge Response, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-05-25
Updated: 2007-05-25
Packaged: 2017-10-06 00:59:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/47974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vamplover82/pseuds/vamplover82
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bob meets some interesting characters on the road.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Pancake (a.k.a. Bob)

**Author's Note:**

> Pretty cracktastic.

Once upon a time there was a good house husband who had so many children that he sometimes lost count of them. And they were always hungry. So he was making them a huge pancake (and trying to get into the Guinness Book of World Records), but they kept pestering him. They all stood around, watching him make it, while their mother just looked on and tried not to laugh.

"Dad, gimme some, I'm hungry!"

"Yeah, Dad. What's taking so long?"

"I want some first!"

"No, I do!"

"Stop it, all of you!" their father yelled. "You have to wait until it's been turned over. Then you can all have a piece of the world's largest pancake."

When the pancake (a.k.a. Bob) heard this, he got scared and tried to flip himself out of the pan, but only succeeded in flipping himself over. After a little bit of time cooking on that side, he was firm enough to jump out of the pan. Bob landed on the floor, rolling right out the door and down the road.

"Stop that pancake!" the husband yelled, running after it, followed by his whining children and hysterically laughing wife.

"Damnit, someone stop our breakfast!" they all yelled, but it was no use.

Bob was rolling way too fast, and he soon left them in the distance. After awhile, Bob rolled right into a man.

"Good morning, Bob," the man said.

"Morning, man," Bob replied, a little confused about how the man knew his name.

"I have a name, you know. And it happens to be Frank."

"Fine, hello Frank." Bob would have rolled his eyes if he had any.

Frank smiled. "Well, Bob, why don't you slow down a little and let me have a nibble. I'm famished."

"Dude, I just got away from this guy and his slew of crazy children. I'm not stopping for you!"

With that, Bob rolled away, going on until he met a duck.

"Good morning, Bob," the duck said.

"Morning, ugly duckling," Bob replied warily.

"Don't call me that!" the duck yelled. "I can't help it that I'm not the prettiest duck around. My _name_ is Mikey."

"Alright, Mikey. Calm down."

"I can't just calm down! I need comfort food! And you look pretty tasty." Mikey sniffled, moving closer to Bob.

"Oh, not again!" Bob exclaimed as he rolled away.

He kept rolling until he ran into a cock.

"Afternoon, Bob," the cock said.

"Afternoon, cock," Bob replied.

"Is that a thinly veiled reference to my giant wang?" the cock asked.

"Oh yeah, you know you want some of this," the cock continued, strutting around proudly. "Ray is the name you'll want to be screaming in pleasure."

"That's not even physically possible for us!" Bob shouted disgustedly, rolling away faster than ever.

He rolled on and on, until he met a pig.

"Good afternoon, Bob," the pig said.

"Hey, Piggy. How the hell do you know my name?"

"It's written on your side," the pig said in an annoyed tone. "And don't call me that. I'm sensitive about my weight. My name is Gerard."

"Fine," Bob said, beginning to roll away after having solved the mystery of everyone knowing his name.

"Hold up a minute, Bob. Walk with me for a little; this isn't the safest part of town."

Bob thought that sounded sensible, so he agreed. They traveled on until they came to a creek. Gerard was big enough to make crossing the creek easy for him, but Bob was having trouble.

"Sit on my snout, and I'll carry you over," Gerard offered. Bob did so.

"Ouf, ouf," Gerard grunted as he gobbled Bob up happily. Clearly he wasn't that concerned about his weight.

And as that is the end of Bob, here ends the story.


End file.
